Or 'THE WORST TOILET IN POLAND'.
Right then...where was i...oh yes the train journey from Krakow to Brzeg.
Please note that the following is not a general comment on the normal state of the Polish train service or on the state of Polish bathrooms in general.
You might be wondering what that horrible clip from the movie 'Trainspotting' (see what i did there?) possibly has to do with my train trip to Brzeg? To explain i have to provide a little personal information and then the relevance will, hopefully, begin to make a bit of sense.
Anyone who knows me personally will already be aware of most of this so apologies to them.
Back when i was about 20 (a long time ago now) years old i became very ill. I started to lose an incredible ammout of weight, was exhausted most of time and started passing a lot of blood when i used the bathroom. After several humiliating examinations at the Hospital i was finally diagnosed with having Crohn's Disease. Google is your friend if you want to learn more about it but it's basically a chronic bowel disorder that is incurable. About 5 years later i had major surgery to remove a portion of my bowel. It's something i've gotten used to over the years but the heavy medication i have to take daily has some fairly unpleasant side effects. My eyesight (amongst other things) is now failing rapidly.
There are many daily symptoms to Crohn's Disease but the most important one (for this post) is that i can (and frequently do) require urgent bathroom facilities. And when i say urgent, i mean URGENT.
It places a lot of restrictions on my social life. A lot. I rarely leave home now and even when i do it's something that's always in the back of my mind. When i do i have to carry a 'just-in-case' backpack containing a few essential items that are a necessary part of living with the disease.
What i normally do when i know i have a trip planned is not to eat or drink anything the day before setting out in an attempt to decrease the risk. On the train to Brzeg i did precisely that.
I got to Krakow train station pretty early on the day of the show just in case i couldn't figure out the platforms and the like. I didn't want to miss the train and then have to try to figure out an alternative route to Brzeg.
In the end it was all pretty straightforward. The train when it arrived looked like a relic from World War 1. I kid you not. The carriage i got onto was pretty empty to begin with and comfortable enough. Read my book for awhile and spent some time looking at a lot of countryside and some fairly decrepit, run down Polish train stations. I have never, ever known a vehicle to travel so slowly. It seemed to churn along at about 2 miles per hour and had the annoying habit of frequently stopping in what seemed to be the middle of nowhere and just sitting there for what seemed like ages just doing nothing? I still haven't figured out if that is normal for Polish trains or not.
(to be continued)