Friday, 31 August 2012
EWA QUITS THE MUSIC BIZ!
As the August transfer deadline rapidly approaches, Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has stunned both the football and entertainment worlds by announcing the signing of Czech/Polish pop star Ewa Farna. Sir Alex told a packed press conference today that a £39 million 6 year professional contract had been signed this morning at a mystery hotel in Manchester.
The 19 year old is a huge star both in the Czech Republic and in Poland but until recently her footballing skills had gone relatively unnoticed.
Sir Alex went on to explain that he had been on a short holiday just outside Wroclaw in Poland and had come across a match taking place whilst he was walking his dog.
'I was amazed' he said. 'In all my 226 years as a manager i've never witnessed such talent in one so young'. 'How this girl has not been signed by a local club defies logic'. 'She's quick, good in the air and has a great footballing brain'. 'I've no hesitation in bringing her to Manchester United' 'I'm confident that she will be a huge success and is a potential international star for the future'. 'Just look at some of the video footage i have received'. 'It's a true genius at work'.
It appears that Sir Alex has no concerns about the young star being the first female to play in the English Premier Division? 'Not at all' he said. 'It will be tough for Ewa, but she's a professional and i'm confident that she'll cope'.
Despite the media frenzy a spokesperson for Ewa Farna UK managed to catch a quick interview with today's surprise signing. We can exclusively reveal that Ewa had this to say 'You know i don't speak English very good so i don't know what you are saying to me'.
So what does all this mean for the continuation of her career in the music biz? Sir Alex was mute on the point but ended the interview with the following statement.
'Today i have seen the future'. 'The future is now' 'The future is Ewa'.
This has been an exclusive announcement from your team at Ewa Farna UK. Where the latest news is always weeks behind :-)